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Point is, I can push myself to my extreme physical ends and he has barely broken a sweat. And I resent being viewed as just the wife of a doctor rather than my own person with her own accomplishments and aspirations. I really hadn't considered a lot of the points people have brought up. Comes home 4 am and 7 am he goes to work again. What you are potentially choosing is certainly not the easiest path. My surgeon husband of 12 years just made himself a "free agent" when he cheated on me and our three kids with a gal 12 years his junior. It really can be that simple. Same goes for holidays-flip a coin. There will be struggles in marriage and childrearing whether or not he is a member. To find another job, a more family oriented one, move to another more financially friendly state we are in California and have a fresh start.